Top 5 Tips for Man-Scaping

I’m working on some more serious topics for the coming weeks. Here’s something a little more fun in the meantime:

Notice, the title says man-scaping, not metro-scaping.  Guys I promise you need to do these things.

Get a Haircut

You want her to wrap her hand around your neck.  She does not want to wrap her hands around Chewbacca’s neck.   Depending on how fast your hair grows, you should:

• Cut it every 2-3 weeks if you don’t want anyone to know you had a haircut.  Get your stylist or barber to rinse out the clippings
• Cut it every 3-6 weeks if you don’t want Chewie Neck
• Cut it every 6-9 weeks if you’re just trying to get by with the bare minimum (admittedly, this is me, which is why I keep my hair short).

What if you’re broke?  Here’s a secret I didn’t know until a little while ago.  Most stylist will do neck trims for free.  SAY NO TO CHEWIE NECK.

Trim Your Nose Hair

Trust me, I hate my nose hair trimmer.  I hate the fact that I got the Greek hair grows in really strange places gene in my family.  I am not looking forward to trimming my ear hair when I hit fifty.  I was so embarrassed by the fact that I needed a nose hair trimmer that I sent my girlfriend to buy one for me (14.95 at Eckerds back in the day).

I’m over that embarrassment now.  I’ve been trimming my nose hair since I was twenty.  Five years of noise hair trimming, every two to three weeks, means roughly 17-18 times a year or 90-100 total nose hair trimmings.  That equates to roughly .15 cents a trimming — time and money well spent.

Axe the Back Hair

Remember Chewie Neck?  Well Chewie Back is the same thing.  Chest hair on the other hand is a personal preference.  Some women dig it, others not so much.  I’d permanently axe the back hair if you can afford it.  My friend Jake tells me laser hair removal is pretty painless.  Need a cheaper option? Wax on, wax off (although it does look a bit more painful)!

Cut Your Nails

Probably the only one that men don’t have a problem doing.  Don’t forget your toenails though (yes, even in the winter).

Dealing with “Eagle One”

Let me ask you a question guys.  Would you prefer the fur-burger or the fillet?  ‘Nough said.  Here’s a secret, she feels the same way. Might I recommend:

Trimmers and Clippers at Amazon.com

Be careful around the cannon’s wheels.  The clippers will grab the folds.

Happy Man-Scaping.

Cheers,
Eric

Posted by Eric Stroud on January 13th, 2009 in Health, Fitness, & Personal Care, Musings

Tags: Grooming, personal hygiene